Having an on day!

Sometimes you just have an "on day." The kind of day where your morning coffee is perfect, you feel like you lost 10 pounds, someone compliments you and you PR your squat clean.

1) I PRed MY SQUAT CLEAN!!!!
What does this mean? This means that today, for the first time, I finally got more than 90 lbs from the ground to my shoulders. This also means that I got unstuck. I've been stuck at a 90 lb clean for months! months!

What happened today? Well, I cleaned 90 as usual except this time it felt different. It felt like the bar wasn't dropping on top of me, but that I was gracefully meeting it on my shoulders. Sammy must have approved of this because she told me to go up 10 pounds.

I headed over to the plates and thought, "10 pounds is 10 pounds more than I've ever done before. But I'm not going to say anything." I did not want to get in my own head.

Anyway, it's my turn to clean again and I set up focused on some of the adjustments I am supposed to make - stay on my heels, don't lean forward. Next thing I know 100 lbs is sitting on top of my shoulders. I'm ecstatic inside but outwardly calm, setting the bar down as quietly as possible. Then I burst! - dancing around screaming "PR PR PR!!!!" I'm so obnoxious but it was just so exciting!

2) No more sluggish feeling
There is this girl at crossfit who is just insane. She'll muscle through anything, load her weights higher than you'd recommend and then out endure everyone. She, as usual, held today's top time for the metcon.

Metcon
5 rounds
30 lunges holding 25 lb plate over your head
15 burpees stepping up to your plate

Anyway, I hold the top time now haha (although by the end of the day I might not). And this is totally my competitive side coming out (I'm really competitive). But it's also evidence of me returning to feeling great. My weight may be refusing to budge but there is definitely a big difference in my performance. YES.

On Motivation
Ran across some excellent blog posts today. Everyone is finding ways to better themselves.
One is on "Remembering How Lucky We Are" - walking to and from crossfit I'm often one of those people smiling on sidewalks. Anyone of you who knows me also has seen me dance and I don't have to be at a wedding... always thought i was a pessimist but maybe I'm an optimist. Something to think about..

“If you feel that sense of wonder and beauty in all the tiny joys in life then you’re part of an international band of old souls and optimists, smiling on sidewalks, dancing at weddings, and flipping to the other side of the pillow. Let’s all high five and keep thinking wild thoughts, dreaming big dreams, and laughing loud laughs.”

Another inspiring and thought provoking post I ran across was written by a yogi (and high school friend of mine) on meditation and self vs world improvement. I love this part in particular where she catches herself write the phrase "used to."

I used to have a lot of trouble with self-love and attending to my inside self (“Used to?” Ha!). And so I was not very lovable. I said to my boyfriend, “Remember, you always said to me, ‘I can’t love you if you don’t love yourself first.’ This is the same. You can’t have peace in the world until you have peace within yourself. 

It's a great feeling, maybe the best feeling, when you look back and can see how far you've come. Catching yourself say or write "used to" is when you realize something has actually changed, your self-conscious is much less prone to lie.

Looking Back
Top 50 Tips in Your 20s

50.    Never forget where you came from.You’ve had stepping stones to get you where you are today. Remember through the current challenges that you’ve had past victories, and you will also have victories in your future.

Love the last tip of the post above - I need to work on remembering where I came from for a few reasons. One is perspective. This is especially true with my law school application journey this past year. I need to keep in perspective just how far I've come. 9 months ago I was filling out applications and heavily on the side of schools with lower average GPAs and LSAT scores. I remember making a resolution to myself to stop filling out  any more applications for the top 30 schools.

A few months later I was in New York City pining for the skyline to be mine but also relegating myself to some less desired skyline. Getting into Fordham Law? Yeah. Right.

Anyway here I am and I often find myself wanting more all the time. I was accepted to Fordham, I was also accepted to schools in Boston and D.C. Only months ago this was a distant dream yet here I am forgetting just how happy I should be. I need to remember to keep things in perspective. I've come so much further than I imagined only a few months ago.

The second reason I need to remember where I came from is articulated really well in "Remembering How Lucky We Are". I too was passionate about the arts in high school and college. Today, I sit at my keyboard with my piano keyboard only feet away from me. Have I touched it in ... months? No. Do I regret not playing it? Yes.

I need to work on tuning into this...

The point is that I’m learning how to balance both passion and practicality. I’m understanding happiness does not come from the size of my paycheck, the title on my business card, or a relationship that is no longer growing. Souvenir